The Coin Toss
Hello. Good morning. (Morning!) We’re tossing a coin to begin. Duckworth go ahead. No Lewis; up to you. May the best man win, And may the best Duckworth lose. Let’s begin. It’s heads, You called it. I think I’ll go in for bat. And that’s that.
The Age of Revolution
Princes and lawyers played with the English elite Years of repression started a noise from the streets CHORUS: The age of revolution, the age of revolution from Bangalore to Kingston, the age of revolution Go and get your pads on, take your place in the sun from Bangalore to Kingston, the age of revolution It’s the age of revolution… It’s the age of revolution Mankad in Madras, but suddenly Sunil is king. Kids in the valleys, bats bound together with string, oh yeah! "Time to take the new ball, the dollars and the rubles. Stormont to the Oval, we’re all going global." CHORUS It’s the age of revolution… It’s the age of revolution It’s the age of revolution… It’s the age of revolution Here’s to the future, Punjab and Tamil Nadu. Always remember the passion of '32, oh yeah, yeah! "Always denied entry by the English gentry. Now we’re driving Bentley’s playing 20/20" CHORUS 2x
Gentlemen And Players
Gentlemen and players play sunday afternoon gentlemen and players play april, may and june a bored young William Ward M.P. bought lords from Thomas Lord in 1825 Oh to sweep perchance to dream of cricket played between two teams of… gentlemen and players play sunday afternoon gentlemen and players play april, may and june Fuller Pilch pulls on his pipe and nonchalantly pops his top hat on his head but Mr. Pilch he comes a cropper knocks the bails off with his topper…. gentlemen and players play sunday afternoon gentlemen and players play april, may and june to enhance the gentry’s chances they were granted the advantage of an extra stump but still they couldn’t hit a barn door, just another "Ripping Yarn" for… gentlemen and players play sunday afternoon gentlemen and players play april, may and june
The Sweet Spot
I can hit the sweet spot; hit it oh so fine. I can hit the sweet spot; like the sweetest wine. I’m down on one knee just to please you all the time. When I hit the sweet spot, I see it in your eyes, When I hit the sweet spot, you win the sweetest prize, oh yeah. Don’t ever stray, 'cause that ain’t no compromise. Find the sweet spot. Hit the sweet spot. Find the sweet spot. Hit the sweet spot. Find the sweet spot. Hit the sweet spot. Find the sweet spot. I can hit the sweet spot; sweet as apple pie. I can hit the sweet spot; hit you really high. My aim is true, gonna hit you out of sight. I can find the sweet spot; sweet as sugar love. I can find the sweet spot; the diamond in the rough. No I ain’t gonna share though I just can’t get enough. Find the sweet spot. Hit the sweet spot. Find the sweet spot. Hit the sweet spot. I can hit the sweet spot; hit it oh so fine. I can hit the sweet spot; like the sweetest wine. I’m down on one knee just to please you all the time. My aim is true, gonna I hit you out of sight. Don’t ever stray, 'cause that ain’t no compromise. I’m down on one knee just to please you all the time.
Jiggery Pokery
'Twas the first test of the Ashes Series 1993 Australia had only managed 289 and we felt all was going to plan that first innings at Old Trafford. Then Merv Hughes and his handlebar moustache dismissed poor Athers. I took the crease to great applause and focussed on me dinner. I knew that I had little cause to fear their young leg spinner. He loosened up his shoulder and, with no run-up at all, he rolled his right arm over and he let go of the ball. It was jiggery pokery, trickery, jokery, How did he open me up? Robbery, muggery, Aussie skull-duggery, Out for a buggering duck. What a delivery. I might as well have been, holding a contra bassoon. Jiggery Pokery who was this nobody making me look a buffoon? Like a blithering old buffoon. At first the ball looked straight enough I had it in me sights, but such was its rotation that it swerved out to the right. I thought 'Well, that’s a leg break. That’s easily defended.' So I stuck my left leg out and jammed my bat against it. But the ball it span obscenely and out of the rough it jumped, veered back across my bat and pad clipping my off stump. It took a while to hit me, I momentarily lingered. But then I saw old Dickie Bird slowly raise his finger. It was jiggery pokery, trickery, jokery. How did he open me up? Robbery, muggery, Aussie skull-duggery. Out for a buggering duck. What a delivery. I might as well have been holding a child’s balloon. Jiggery Pokery, who was this nobody making me look a buffoon? Like an accident-prone baboon. How such a ball could be bowled? I don’t know but if you asked me if it has been a cheese roll, it would never have got past me. It was jiggery pokery, trickery, jokery. How did he open me up? Robbery, muggery, Aussie skull-duggery. What in the buggery was his delivery? I might as well have been holding a cob of corn. Jiggery Pokery, who was this nobody making me look so forlorn? I hate Shane Warne!
Mason on The Boundary
On a sunny summers day, we’ll enjoy a full days play Out on the boundary All of Masons friends are there, Lily with the sunflower hair Out on the boundary Theres no surprise, Mason resides on the boundary Whistling an old world song, Mason knows that he belongs Out on the boundary Drinking in the history in the shade of a willow tree Out on the boundary Masons gone to Zanzibar, underneath his panama Out in the boundary Fading in the evening sun, hopelessly panglossian Out on the boundary Theres no surprise, theres peace in his eyes………On the Boundary Mason on the boundary (Till the end)
Rain Stops Play
Meeting Mr. Miandad
Woke up from a dream Thursday morning Mr. Miandad to me was calling, yeah Got Duckie on the phone and when he’d stopped yawning I said "Pack up your bags we’re going to Pakistan" cause… We’re meeting Mr. Miandad, meeting Mr. Miandad When we get to Pakistan in our VW camper van We’re meeting Mr. Miandad, meeting Mr. Miandad It’s our historical phantasmagorical destiny Everywhere we go people know us When we lose our way people show us When we break down people tow us And send us on our way with a smile and a little wave Hey Hey Hey! We’re meeting Mr. Miandad, meeting Mr. Miandad When we get to Pakistan in our VW camper van We’re meeting Mr. Miandad, meeting Mr. Miandad It’s our historical phantasmagorical destiny It’s gonna take a while but when we get there Mr. Miandad will be met there We’ll shake him by the hand and he’ll say "Wait there, while I get my guitar I’m a rock’n’roll star like you" Woo Hoo Hoo! We’re meeting Mr. Miandad, meeting Mr. Miandad When we get to Pakistan in our VW camper van We’re meeting Mr. Miandad, meeting Mr. Miandad It’s our historical phantasmagorical destiny It’s our historical phantasmagorical destiny
The Nightwatchman
I’m the nightwatchman I lie awake Wondering what’s gonna happen when the dawn breaks I’m the nightwatchman I take the fall I’ll always be around when you call 'Cause all that I have is yours I’d give it all and more to be by your side in the morning light I’m the nightwatchman Alone in my bed Fighting the ghosts and the demons inside my head Morning has broken and I’ve got to go How it’s gonna end I don’t know But all that I have is yours I’d give it all and more When they let you down, call me I’ll be around 'Cause all that I have is yours I’d give it all and more to be by your side In the morning light. In the morning light
Flatten The Hay
Finding the sun in an Irish summer Is somewhat akin to Russian roulette… anyway We would spend August in Arklow and Courtown And I would be clutching my cricket set. Gotta play! Jump over walls, flatten the hay A quick evening session before we could even Have time to reflect on our holiday commencing Will we play football or go pitch and putting? We know we have Swing-ball but we’d always plump for the gentlemen’s game Yellow the grass, flatten the hay. All day… The farmer would come before the bad weather Our pavilion would seem like a blur in the ether The night would creep in on our Indian summer But tomorrow would bring a new crease to discover D.i and I.t, Gatting and Willey May sound so silly to the uninitiated For me and my brother they conjured up visions Of heroes who stood against all of the things that we hated Let’s jump over walls and flatten the hay All day… all summer long When we were young
Test Match Special
Give me the sun and a big tv Give me a chair positioned beautifully Give me a hat trick from the SCG Give me a Test Match Special And set me free Show me the outfield from a zeppelin Show me the coin toss that we never win Peruse the paper, sip some Earl Grey tea And let the Test Match Special Set you free Test Match Special Will set you free The Test Match Special It’s time for drinks! And now we’re back on the field of play And we’ll be here for the next five days Look there’s a streaker (whistles) running through the crease Only the Test Match Special Can set you free The Test Match Special Will set you free The Test Match Special Will set you free The Test Match Special It’s gonna set you free Test Match Special woo!
The End of The Over
One. Two Three. Four Five. Six One. Two Three. Four Five. Six One. (One two three) Two. (four five six) Three. (One two three) Four. (four five six) Five. (one two three) Six. (four five six) One. (One two three) Two. (four five six) Three. (One two three) Four. (four five six) Five. (one two three) Six. (four five six) [repeat] The end of the over The over is ending The end of the end of the Over is over The end of the end of the Over is ended The end of the over The Over is ended The end of the end of the Over is over The end of the end of the Over my friend The end of the over The over is ended Duckworth and Lewis are out