Intro
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Grey Tickles, Black Pressure
I did not think I was The one being addressed In hemorrhoid commercials On the TV set I often stand and stare At nothing in the grocery store Because I do not know What to buy to eat any more And parapraxis is The order of the day I never heard that word Until tonight I have to say And I’m supposed to believe that there’s some guy Who will take the pain away And there are children who have cancer And so all bets are off Cause I can’t compete with that So all bets are off Cause I can’t compete with that I’ve got grey tickles and black pressure And I’d rather lose my arm inside of a corn thresher Just like Uncle Paul Just like Uncle Paul I, I, I They won’t be happy til They tear down everything Which looks remotely cool Or is older than two weeks You must be kidding me Except I do know better than to ask I can’t believe I missed New York during the 70’s I could have gotten a head start In the world of disease I’m sure I would have contracted Every single solitary thing And there are children who have cancer And so all bets are off Cause I can’t compete with that So all bets are off Cause I can’t compete with that They say let go let go let go You must learn to let go If I hear that fucking phrase again This baby’s gonna blow Into a million itsy bitsy tiny pieces Don’t you know Just like my favorite scene in Scanners Apparently there was an outcry of some sort today Which no-one heard incidentally and by the way I have not had the strength To leave my place in days or weeks And I’ll never understand What’s happening in the Middle East And there are children who have cancer And so all bets are off Cause I can’t compete with that So all bets are off Cause I can’t compete with that I’ve got grey tickles and black pressure And I’d rather lose my arm inside of a corn thresher Just like Uncle Paul Just like Uncle Paul I, I, I I’ve got grey tickles and black pressure And I’d rather lose my arm inside of a corn thresher Just like Uncle Paul Just like Uncle Paul I, I, I
Snug Slacks
Is it difficult for you to be so beautiful? Or do you find the advantages tend to outweigh The disadvantages? Am I being rude? I’m sorry, I’ve never really had the appropriate attitude Do you think that life is easier when one looks as good as you do? Or do people always say that you’re a narcissist? Do they ingratiate themselves to you and act all obsequious? Come on now baby, you can tell me it’s just between the two of us Snug slacks baby snug slacks Now you’re giving me a different kind of panic attack, I said a Sick joke, baby crack smoke, now take me out in your pick up for a midnight poke I said Stonehenge baby drug binge Now you got me all damp down in my netherlands Snug slacks baby snug slacks Now let’s get you out of those and see what kind of punch your manhood packs You know it takes an ass like yours to make it possible for me To have developed such a very high tolerance for inappropriate behaviour I mean I can take it or leave it, I don’t need it And I hope I haven’t spoken out of turn But if you’d be so kind I could use some help with my thesis on carpet burn By the way I got tickets for us to see Joan Baez tonight Oh? I guess I misunderstood, I never heard of Joan as policewoman But I do love me some Angie Dickinson And let’s be clear, Joan Baez makes GG Allin look like Charlene Tilton Snug slacks baby snug slacks Now you’re giving me a different kind of panic attack I said sick joke, baby crack smoke, now take me out in your pick up for a midnight poke I said Stonehenge baby drug binge Now you got me all damp down in my netherlands Snug slacks baby snug slacks Now let’s get you out of those and see what kind of punch your manhood packs
Guess How I Know
You laughed all the way through Ordinary People, baby That’s how I knew Something ain’t right, there’s no other way to say it, baby There’s something wrong with you Made a crazy scene at the dairy queen Only blood sausage will do I didn’t like it in Germany and I ain’t gonna start liking it for you Guess how I know you’re a zombie baby cause you rip the heart right out of my chest You don’t really have any feelings baby. You’re as cold as ice, it’s obvious you’re dead Guess how I know you’re a zombie baby cause you rip the heart right out of my chest You don’t really have any feelings baby. You’re as cold as ice, it’s obvious you’re dead You got real rambunctious at the restaurant You wouldn’t stop throwing food People gonna start spreading nasty little rumours baby if you don’t find a way to fix your mood Your bed side manner makes me wanna watch Cujo baby for the 20th time But it kinda gets me hot, kinda hits the spot, I guess it’s gotta be an unforgettable crime Guess how I know you’re a zombie baby cause you rip my heart right out of my chest You don’t really have any feelings baby. You’re as cold as ice, it’s obvious you’re dead Guess how I know you’re a zombie baby cause you rip the heart right out of my chest You don’t really have any feelings baby. You’re as cold as ice, it’s obvious you’re dead Auf wiedersehen, baby Bon débarras I’ll catch you on the flip side honey Dasvidania Auf wiedersehen, baby Bon débarras I’ll catch you on the flip side honey Dasvidania Auf wiedersehen, baby Bon débarras I’ll catch you on the flip side honey Dasvidania Dasvidania
You And Him
(Feat. Amanda Palmer)
You’re so hot I bet you hear that a lot You’re so cool I almost wish I were you You’re so slick it’s like you’re not even trying You’re so fine but can you tell that I’m lying? You’re so cute but you remind me of somebody else It’s on the tip of my tongue no it’s not Orson Welles You’re so ambitious you just know you’re gonna win You’re so cute I hope they taught you how to swim You and Hitler oughta get together You oughta learn to knit and wear matching sweaters You oughta learn the finer points of decoupage You oughta spend your weekends cleaning out the garage You and Hitler oughta tie the knot You could do it at Taco Bell to spice up the plot Get on the phone and call your buddy Pol Pot You could play some Twister and watch Heavy Metal Parking Lot You’re so sweet I really love how you hate You seem like someone they should chemically castrate I bet you’re planning to have 17 kids Then 2 nanoseconds later you’ll regret that you did because You’re not thinking, you have trouble with that You think you’re super special but you’re just a big twat You probably went to Chernobyl for your honeymoon You probably acted surprised when they showed you the room You and Hitler oughta get together You oughta learn to knit and wear matching sweaters You oughta learn the finer points of decoupage You oughta spend your weekends cleaning out the garage You and Hitler oughta tie the knot You could do it at Taco Bell to spice up the plot Get on the phone and call your buddy Pol Pot You could play some Twister and watch Heavy Metal Parking Lot You and Hitler oughta get together You oughta learn to knit and wear matching sweaters You oughta learn the finer points of decoupage You oughta spend your weekends cleaning out the garage You and Hitler oughta tie the knot You could do it at Taco Bell to spice up the plot Get on the phone and call your buddy Pol Pot You could play some Twister and watch Heavy Metal Parking Lot
Down Here
You do this, and you’ll get that I want what I was promised, I’m a bit impatient And what is it exactly that you think that you deserve No more, no less, is that ridiculous Cause what we got down here is oceans of longing And guessing games, and no guarantees And you work so hard to be in control And now you’re laughing at yourself because you can’t let go Cause all we’re doing is learning how to die Do you really think that nobody see’s the fear behind your smile? And why do you care what anybody thinks at all It’s all going to the same thing in the end And what we got down here is oceans of longing And guessing games, and no guarantees And you work so hard to be in control And now you’re laughing at yourself because you can’t let go And what we got down here is oceans of longing And guessing games, and no guarantees And you work so hard to be in control And now you’re laughing at yourself because you can’t let go
Voodoo Doll
You can’t get out of your bed because you’re so depressed No-one understands this and they think that you’re a mess I know this is not the case and I believe in you I won’t stop until I have convinced you of the truth I made a voodoo doll of you And I gave it some chicken soup Did you feel any warmth down deep inside Did you feel how your blues went away and died I made a voodoo doll of you I even put it in a corduroy jumpsuit Cause I thought that’s what you’d do If you had the opportunity to choose Even on your worst day I hate no-one less than you Break in to my house and read my diary if you need some proof You are going to make it and you’ll do much more than that Just don’t stop, just keep on moving There’s no turning back I made a voodoo doll of you And I gave it some chicken soup Did you feel any warmth down deep inside Did you feel how your blues went away and died I made a voodoo doll of you I even put it in a corduroy jumpsuit Cause I thought that’s what you’d do If you had the opportunity to choose I made a voodoo doll of you And I administered hot chocolate too One time I spilled it all over the place I really hope you don’t got no burns on your face I made a voodoo doll of you I didn’t know what else to do I know you don’t get out that much So I took it on a trip to Kalamazoo I made a voodoo doll of you And I gave it some chicken soup Did you feel any warmth down deep inside Did you feel how your blues went away and died I made a voodoo doll of you I even put it in a corduroy jumpsuit Cause I thought that’s what you’d do If you had the opportunity to choose I made a voodoo doll of you And I administered hot chocolate too One time I spilled it all over the place I really hope you don’t got no burns on your face I made a voodoo doll of you I didn’t know what else to do I know you don’t get out that much So I took it on a trip to Kalamazoo I made a voodoo doll of you
Global Warming
You people and your cute little terms you like to throw around and make everybody squirm Upper class, middle class, lower class, Sassafras Everybody these days thinks that they’re a bad-ass And how am I supposed to live in a world with no Madeline Kahn my favourite girl is gone And Bonnie Doon’s is now an auto zone 31 is trashed and now I just want to be left alone Global warming is ruining my fair complexion Augmenting all my imperfections And Brazil does not need more encouragement Global warming encourages slack jawed troglodytes To leave their homes with guns and knives In search of bodily refreshments and some homicide I’m so sick of hearing people talk about the sun They sound like a bunch of Aztec Indians And all they do is hang out clogging up the streets Congratulating each other on their pedicured feet Sure I like to see the fella’s skateboard in their Vans Stripped down to their shorts so they can work on their tans I know I shouldn’t care cause I’m a taken man But I guess you can look, nobody said that you can’t Global warming is ruining my fair complexion Augmenting all my imperfections And Brazil does not need more encouragement Global warming encourages slack jawed troglodytes To leave their homes with guns and knives In search of bodily refreshments and some homicide All I’ve got are first world problems I guess I better get some more third world kind
Magma Arrives
We see our hero in his chambers now Luxuriating on a water bed He should enjoy it if he can somehow Cause soon he’ll wish that he were dead Did you hear the one about the monkey’s paw Some people dig that sort of thing Well this will be much worse I promise you He’ll never see another spring Magma arrives With fire in his eyes He says it’s time to fill our hero’s veins With shame that runs so deep It makes impossible his sleep Affecting countless destinies and lives Magma arrives With fire in his eyes He says it’s time to fill our hero’s veins With shame that runs so deep It makes impossible his sleep Affecting countless destinies and lives Your face will melt right off your skeleton You see his bite is much worse than his bark You cannot take it back you made your bed This won’t be no damn walk in no damn park You won’t be able to hide anything There will be no place to put the blame It’s almost tempting to feel sorry for you now But can you guess what is my name? Magma arrives With fire in his eyes He says it’s time to fill our hero’s veins With shame that runs so deep It makes impossible his sleep Affecting countless destinies and lives Magma arrives With fire in his eyes He says it’s time to fill our hero’s veins With shame that runs so deep It makes impossible to sleep Affecting countless destinies and lives Magma arrives With fire in his eyes He says it’s time to fill our hero’s veins With shame that runs so deep It makes impossible to sleep Affecting countless destinies and lives Magma arrives With fire in his eyes He says it’s time to fill our hero’s veins With shame that runs so deep It makes impossible to sleep Affecting countless destinies and lives
Black Blizzard
Grasslands, sweet grasslands This will be our home We will work the soil and wait Because we know our time will come We own this land Black blizzard Souls will wither Crushing hearts and bones Black blizzard Eternal winter Will you forsake your own Blue skies Sunday morning We welcome back the sun Maybe we’ll have peace now The conquerors have won Black blizzard Souls will wither Crushing hearts and bones Black blizzard Eternal winter Now you forsake your own Black blizzard Chicken gizzard Morning afterglow Call my flocks in the devil’s black snow Black blizzard Chicken gizzard Morning afterglow Call my flocks in the devil’s black snow Black blizzard Souls will wither Crushing hearts and bones Black blizzard Eternal winter Now you forsake your own
Disappointing (Feat. Tracey Thorn)
Rollercoasters and Earl Gray Malts Ocelot babies but not bath salts Harvest moon in the arms of a tree Which has been growing there for centuries Bassoons, trombones and French horn sections Bass clarinets and string art collections Owls and guitars when they do not match Gilda, Kristen, Cheri, Tina, Amy and Rachel Dratch All these things they’re just disappointing All these things they’re just disappointing compared to you There‘s nothing more beautiful than your smile as it conquers your face There‘s nothing more comforting than to know, know you exist in this time, in this place The genitive case in German it’s true, Is something that I’m quite partial to Rachmaninov, Scriabin, Prokofiev Dostoevsky, Bulgakov, Vysotsky and Lev Francis Bacon, dolomites Ballet dancers with or without tights Central Park on an autumn day Will always be stunning and never cliché All these things they’re just disappointing All these things they’re just disappointing compared to you There‘s nothing more beautiful than your smile as it conquers your face There‘s nothing more comforting than to know, know you exist in this time, in this place All these things they’re just disappointing All these things they’re just disappointing compared to you There‘s nothing more beautiful than your smile as it conquers your face There‘s nothing more comforting than to know, know you exist in this time, in this place
No More Tangles
Stockholm is a place that I adore But the syndrome by that name is one that I abhor Patty Hearst cannot compete with me I bet she thinks she can I’ll prove her wrong at tea for free Words don’t mean anything to you Emotions turn right in to lies like black turns in to blue Because the fear has made you blind You don’t know anything And you thought that I was being kind No more tangles No more tears No more reindeer games with narcissistic queers Or any other such type of human being This is a metaphor for fear Answers to questions you’ve been asking me for years What of our drink and fatigue I’ve got a lot of that Just tell me how much do you need You spend your days tied up in knots You know how to tie them in your flesh and in your thoughts Even without reading Moby Dick Tell me how does one learn that at your age so that it sticks No more tangles No more tears No more reindeer games with narcissistic queers Or any other such type of human being No more angles, no more dumbing it down Gee your hair smells perfect but I cannot stand to have you around Not now Or any other time
Geraldine
Paranoia, the uncertainty The stupid knowing way they’re grinning when they look at me They say it’s me How do they know? My mind and body have betrayed me and it shows My brain reboots each time the sun begins to shine And if I didn’t know better then i’d swear to you that it’s not mine I can’t control my face I can’t avoid that furrowed brow Would’ve thought they’d send someone right over to show me how Geraldine Please tell me that you didn’t have to put up with this shit Geraldine Please tell me that you didn’t have to do it Like the others We’re not like them, we’re not that strong At least that’s what they have been telling us all along Geraldine Please tell me that it wasn’t that way for you You are a grown up now, the program is complete And everybody knows this because of the things you say when you speak You know the drill It’s time to kill And if you won’t they’ll find somebody else who will This is a hostile world Don’t act like you weren’t told Nobody’s going to buy that noise if you talk like that when you get old Don’t lose your cool Don’t come unglued Be a man Don’t walk into the light It’s a trap dear Carol Anne Geraldine Please tell me that you didn’t have to put up with this shit Geraldine Please tell me that you didn’t have to do it Like the others We’re not like them, we’re not that strong At least that’s what they have been telling us all along Geraldine Please tell me that it wasn’t that way for you
Outro
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, love never fails.