The Rhythm Thief
I am the rhythm thief Say goodbye to the beat I am the rhythm thief Auf wiedersehen to the beat Oh no, where did the groove go, where did the groove go, where did the groove go? Lights out, Ibiza Where did the groove go, where did the groove go, where did the groove go? You’ll never get it back, you’ll never get it back, The rhythm thief has got it and you’ll never get it back You’ll never get it back, you’ll never get it back, The rhythm thief has got it and you’ll never get it back You’ll never get it back, you’ll never get it back, The rhythm thief has got it and you’ll never get it back Lights out, Ibiza I am the rhythm thief Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
How do I Get to Carnegie Hall!
How do I get to Carnegie Hall? How do I get to Carnegie Hall? How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, man, practice Practice, man, practice Practice, man, practice Practice, man, practice How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, man, practice How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, man, practice To get yourself to Carnegie Hall Practice, man, practice Carnegie Hall, Carnegie Hall Technical facility, Old-word sensibility All of this I did for you Still there is no sign of you I practiced, I practiced Carnegie Hall was beckoning I practiced, I practiced Carnegie Hall was beckoning I was ready, I was ready Carnegie Hall was beckoning Still there is no sign of you, still there is no sign of you Steinway, Steinway, Steinway, Steinway, How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, man, practice How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, man, practice To get yourself to Carnegie Hall Practice man, practice Carnegie Hall, Carnegie Hall Practice on the Steinway, Practice on the Steinway, Practice on the Steinway, They loved it, they showed it The audience was deafening I was ready, I was ready The critics all said, "riveting" On the Steinway, on the Steinway I guess it doesn’t mean a thing Still there is no sign of you, Still there is no sign of you How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice man, practice How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, man, practice How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice man, practice Still there is no sign of you.
What are All These Bands so Angry about!
Hey everybody, what do you say Someone’s stolen our spotlight, Ray Hey everybody, what do you say What are all these bands so angry about? Hey everybody, what do you know Something’s stolen our thunder, Joe Hey everybody, what do you know What are all these bands so angry about? Hey everybody, what do you know Something’s stolen our thunder, Joe Hey everybody, what do you know What are all these bands so angry about? Hey everybody, what can we do? Crank it up just a notch or two? Hey, everybody, what can we do? What are all these bands so angry about? Hey everybody, they called our bluff Our profane ain’t profane enough Hey everybody, they called our bluff What are all these bands so angry about? Hey everybody what do you say Someone’s bounced us from center stage Some might have done it, but not today Beethoven, Coltrane, or Lady Day Some might have done it, but not today What with all these things besieging us now Some might have done it, broken on through Wagner, Tatum, or Howlin' Wolf Some might have done what we’ll never do What are all these bands so angry about? Hey everybody, what do you know Something’s stolen our thunder, Joe Hey everybody, what do you know What are all these bands so angry about?
I Married Myself
I married myself I’m very happy together I married myself I’m very happy together I married myself I’m very happy together Long, long walks on the beach, lovely times I married myself, I’m very happy together Candlelight dinners home, lovely times This time it’s gonna last, this time it’s gonna last Forever, forever, forever I married myself I’m very happy together I married myself I’m very happy together This time it’s gonna last, this time it’s gonna last Forever, forever, forever This time it’s gonna last, this time it’s gonna last Forever, forever, forever I married myself I’m very happy together Long, long walks on the beach, lovely times I married myself, I’m very happy together Candlelight dinners home, lovely times This time it’s gonna last, this time it’s gonna last Forever, forever, forever This time it’s gonna last, this time it’s gonna last Forever, forever, forever
Ride 'Em Cowboy
They laughed with me Then laughed at me They said "how true" They said "not you" They thought how wise Then thought goodbye Your hit your stride Then Mr. Hyde (Ride 'em cowboy, ride 'em) They laughed with me Then laughed at me They said "how true" They said "not you" They thought how wise Then thought goodbye Your hit your stride Then Mr. Hyde Ride 'em I got thrown again Ride 'em Get back on again I swam, I sank Top seed, unranked The pole, the wall The pride, the fall A state of grace Slapped in the face A state of mind Then card declined From great to good From good to fair To barely pass Stay after class I’m hot I’m cold I’m bought, I’m sold First accolades Then hand grenades They hate your look They hate your book They hate your guts You’ve heard enough It’s not your day It’s not your week It’s not your month It’s not your year First AOK Then IOU BMOC Then MIA From DIY To DUI From 411 To 911 Ride 'em cowboy, ride 'em Ride 'em cowboy, ride 'em First AOK Then IOU BMOC Then MIA From DIY To DUI From 411 To 911 From soup to nuts From job to cuts From sure to chance From can to can’ts From smart to dumb From bread to crumbs From wowed to bored Ole, then gored Ride 'em cowboy, ride 'em I got thrown again Ride 'em cowboy, ride 'em Get back on again From just desserts To just desserts From you’re for me To ca suffit From bon vivant To sycophant From open door To merde alors From just desserts To just desserts From you’re for me To ca suffit From bon vivant To sycophant From open door To merde alors Ride 'em cowboy, ride 'em I got thrown again Ride 'em cowboy, ride 'em Get back on again Ride 'em Cowboy Ride 'em cowboy
My Baby’s Taking Me Home
Home, my baby’s taking me home My baby’s taking me home My baby’s taking me home My baby’s taking me home My baby’s taking me home As we walk through the morning rain And the skies are clearing And the streets are glistening Streets named for New England trees A rainbow forms But we’re both colorblind But we can hear what others can’t hear We can hear the sound of a chorus singing Home, my baby’s taking me home My baby’s taking me home My baby’s taking me home My baby’s taking me home My baby’s taking me home
Your Call’s Very Important to Us. Please Hold…
Please hold. Please hold. Please hold. Please hold. I’m getting mixed signals, mixed signals, mixed signals, mixed signals At first she said, "your call is very important to us." And then she said, "please hold, please hold". Then she said, "your call is very important to us" And then she said, "please hold, please hold" At first she said, "your call is very important to us." And then she said, "please hold, please hold". Then she said, "your call is very important to us" And then she said, "please hold, please hold" At first she said your call was very important to us And then she said please, please hold At first she said your call was very important to us And then she said please, please hold, please hold Green, green light, red light Green, green light, red light At first she said, 'green light' And then she said, 'red light' At first she said, "your call is very important to us." And then she said, "please hold, please hold". Then she said, "your call is very important to us" And then she said, "please hold, please hold" Green, green light, red light Green, green light, red light At first she said, "your call is very important to us." And then she said, "please hold, please hold". Then she said, "your call is very important to us" And then she said, "please hold, please hold" At first she said, "your call is very important to us." And then she said, "please hold, please hold". Then she said, "your call is very important to us" And then she said, "please hold, please hold" I’m getting mixed signals, mixed signals.
Ugly Guys with Beautiful Girls
Ugly guys with beautiful girls You always know what the story is Beautiful girls with ugly guys What do they take us for anyway? Ugly guys, with beautiful girls Ugly guys with beautiful girls As they walk down the street arm in arm I see them And once again feel the need to ask myself the question The question that has weighed heavily on me of late How is it possible that a guy and a girl So dissimilar in physical appearance, There being such a disparity in how attractive each is, Be nonetheless in what would appear to be a relationship? It ain’t done with smoke and mirrors It ain’t done with smoke and mirrors It ain’t done with smoke and mirrors Ugly guys with beautiful girls Ugly guys with beautiful girls Ugly guys with beautiful girls How do we explain this? An attraction of opposites? No, that theory has been refuted By many experts in the fields of human psychology A much greater attraction seems to come from one more similar to oneself Personality perhaps? Without intending to sound judgmental That he doesn’t look like What was once called "live wire" or "the life of the party" He appears rather expressionless. His movements are stiff and even awkward Perhaps he’s a person of some intellect An expert in science The arts, political theory? No, I think not. See how well tailored his clothes are How well cut his hair is It ain’t done with smoke and mirrors It ain’t done with smoke and mirrors It ain’t done with smoke and mirrors Ugly guys with beautiful girls Ugly guys with beautiful girls Ugly guys with beautiful girls I must confess to you, my listeners That I have been a little less than honest In pretending I had no answers to my previous questions You see, I lost someone very dear to me Someone very beautiful To someone much like him Ah, you ask, surely there must have been other areas Where you were deficient and he was not No, I don’t believe so My shortcomings were of an economic nature He was rich, I was not You see, I underestimated the appeal to her of things Imported things on wheels Large things with manicured lawns and Olympic swimming pools Things to wear around her neck that would Glisten in the night light Things! Still I am not bitter Rather, I am an observer Who saw first hand how life may not be fair Would things have turned out differently Between me and her Had I moved the corporate ladder quicker Been born of more noble stock Or done better on one of our journeys to Las Vegas? Perhaps. In fact, I am certain of it. Things would have turned out differently Between me and her I know this now It ain’t done with smoke and mirrors Ugly guys with beautiful girls You always know what the story is
Suburban Homeboy
I am a suburban homeboy with a suburban 'ho right by my side I am a suburban homeboy and I say yo dog to my pool cleaning guy I hope I’m baggy enough for them I play my Shaggy enough for them I’ll pop a cap up some fool at the Gap 'Cause I’m a suburban homeboy I am a suburban homeboy with a suburban ho right by my side I am a suburban homeboy and I say yo' dog to my detailing guy I bought me cornrows on Amazon I started listening to Farrakhan My caddy and me he looks just like Jay-Z And I’m a suburban homeboy I am a suburban homeboy with a suburban ho right by my side She’s known as Miss Missy Tannenbaum and she’s one freak bitch, ain’t no lie She’s from the projects in St. Tropez She looks like Iverson in a way She yo yo’s me and I yo yo her back And I’m a suburban homeboy She yo yo’s me and I yo yo her back And I’m a suburban homeboy She yo yo’s me and I yo yo her back And I’m a suburban homeboy We are suburban homeboys With our suburban ho’s right by our sides We are suburban homeboys and we say yo dog and we mean it, by God We’ve got an old school mentality Oxford and Cambridge mentality Props to our peeps and please keep your receipts And we are suburban homeboys Props to our peeps and please keep your receipts And we are suburban homeboys Props to our peeps and please keep your receipts And we are suburban homeboys Props to our peeps and please keep your receipts And we are suburban homeboys