Napoleon Complex
Who pulls the strings, who makes the deals Stands five foot three in Cuban heels Who gets all the girls, then wakes up again Who will rule the world Who will make them scream his name… Napoleon Complex Who was the true inventor of The infamous circular firing squad Who has all the brains, but none of the stature Who’d make the Child Catcher cry for mom and run away… Napoleon Complex Who patiently awaits the hour When he will seize the reins of power… Napoleon Complex
Foreverland
What are we looking for - a piece of heaven they say What are we looking for - it’s tricky to explain But you won’t believe it until you’ve seen it Since I was a boy of fourteen it’s been my plan To find Foreverland There’s a tropical breeze there Blowing throughout the palm trees there Birds of paradise fly What are we looking for - an island shrouded in mist What are we looking for - that’s if it does exist I know that the crew are dying of hunger But I’m sure it can’t take much longer Till we can see Foreverland There’s a tropical breeze there Blowing through the palm trees there Birds of paradise fly What are we looking for - you’re gonna like it, I swear What are we looking for - I’ll show you when we’re there It’s just round the headland, on the horizon Everybody thinks it’s all lies until they stand on Foreverland Everybody thinks it’s all lies until they can see Foreverland
Catherine The Great
Let’s talk of Catherine the Great Let’s talk of love and the power of the state She was a crazy spontaneous girl Everyone paid homage to her Catherine the Great There were few brainier Just ask the King of Lithuania She could dictate what went on anywhere She had great hair, and a powerful gait Catherine the Great She could converse with the best She knew Voltaire, Diderot and the rest She might have conquered a third of the world But inside she was a sensitive girl Catherine the Great With her military might She could defeat anyone that she liked And she looked so bloody good on a horse That they couldn’t wait for her to invade Catherine the Great Yekaterina Alexeyevna Let’s talk of Catherine the Great Let’s talk of love and the power of the state If I could touch but the hem of her dress Tell her a joke, bake her a cake Catherine the Great
Funny Peculiar
Funny, funny little smile Like a guilty child trying to fool ya Funny, like Zsa Zsa Gabor Not ‘funny ha ha’, more ‘funny peculiar’ You’re strangely attractive You’re oddly adorable And the funny little fact is Funny peculiar, you are the one Funny, funny little face Like a sunny day in the middle of winter You’re funny Like a minor chord there isn’t a reason for They just throw it in there You’re strangely attractive You’re oddly adorable And the funny little fact is Funny peculiar, you are… The one for me, honey, yes indeed You’re the one for me, honey, yes indeed You’re funny peculiar You’re strangely attractive You’re madly magnificent And the funny little fact is Funny peculiar, you are… The one for me, honey, yes indeed You’re the one for me, honey, yes indeed You’re funny peculiar, that is what you are Funny peculiar, that is what you are The one for me, honey, yes indeed You’re the one for me, honey, yes indeed You’re funny peculiar, that is what you are Funny peculiar, that is what you are
The Pact
This is our pact, this is our entente cordial When they attack (and you can be sure that they shall) We shall without delay come to each others aid And man the barricades together This is our pact, this is the treaty that we’ve signed What one may lack the other party will provide And everyone must know - you mess with one, you mess with both And together we’ll beat the bastards back This is our pact A bond born of brotherhood, a friendship forged in fire To benefit the common good and further our desires A special relationship, a meeting of the minds Two proud and sovereign nations sit together side by side This is our pact, and we will come when duty calls No turning back, it’s all for one and one for all And though the world may try to come between us by and by Together we’ll beat the bastards back This is our pact
To The Rescue
So many heartbreaks, so little time Too many tragedies, too many crimes Put on your body armour, prepare your alibis ‘Cause there is no one else gonna put it right To the rescue Down the streets and alleyways Past the Chinese takeaways Through the wind and driving rain To the rescue When the world won’t understand And government’s got other plans Take the law into your hands To the rescue Got a vigilante sleeping in my bed I looked for Marilyn, I got Che instead But I’ll march behind you wherever you may go And I’m more proud of you than you can ever know To the rescue Through the snow and freezing rain Down deserted country lanes Round the world and back again To the rescue Taking the forgotten ones The big and small, the old and young When nobody else will come They’ll come to the rescue To the rescue
How Can You Leave Me On My Own
How can you leave me on my own How can you leave me on my own When did you say that you’re coming home How can you leave me on my own When you leave I become a moron A beer swilling, time killing moron I surgically remove all of the green food from my diet I know I should be reading but I’m too lazy to try it I keep the TV on all day to chase away the quiet when you leave How can you leave Me on my own How can you leave me on my own How can you leave me on my own How can you leave me on my own When did you say that you’re coming home How can you leave me on my own When you leave I become a dickhead A bad smelling, couch dwelling dickhead I drink too many cups of tea and eat too many biscuits I think about going out - decide not to risk it I look at naked ladies ‘cause I’m too weak to resist it when you leave How can you leave Me on my own How can you leave me on my… oboe How can you leave me on my own How can you leave me on my own It’s not the same talking on the phone How can you leave me on my own When you leave I become a caveman A bed head, brain dead caveman I stare at all the photos and the texts that you have sent me I curl up with the dogs, I think they’re starting to resent me I wanna go to bed, but the bed is just too empty when you leave How can you leave Me on my own How can you leave me on my own How can you leave me on my own How can you leave me on my own When did you say that you’re coming home How can you leave me on my own
I Joined The Foreign Legion (To Forget)
I joined the Foreign Legion one Thursday cold and wet I think it was December But you must remember I Joined the Foreign Legion to forget I joined the Foreign Legion (La Legion Etranger) One sultry day in July Back when I still knew why I joined the Foreign Legion anyway I joined the Foreign Legion, became a Legionnaire We’d march to far off regions To forts we’d be besieged in Then one day I forgot why I was there I joined the Foreign Legion somebody to forget She said I’d find it easier if I had amnesia Who she was I do not recollect I joined the Foreign Legion to forget
My Happy Place
Everything goes to shit And everyone blames you for it When good goes bad, and bad to worse I go where I went first I go to my happy place I go to my happy place I go where the mountains rise on either side of a peaceful valley I go where the gentle breeze blows through the trees and eases my mind Everything you have been Working hard to achieve Crashes down around your ears It’s time to disappear And go to your happy place I go to my happy place I go where the mountains rise on either side of a peaceful valley I go where the gentle breeze blows through the trees and eases my mind My happy place When at last you find the one And all your days are filled with sun That it could all be snatched away Where would I go When you’re my happy place You’re my happy place I go where the mountains rise on either side of a peaceful valley I go where the gentle breeze blows through the trees and eases my mind I go to my happy place
A Desperate Man
I made a daring escape in the guise of a nun It took them most of the day to realise I was gone I crossed the forests and fields of wheat A farmer’s daughter gave me something to eat I stole a paper just to see the picture of me I’m a desperate man I’ve gotta keep on running I’ve gotta do what I can To get back to you I made the overnight ferry by the skin of my teeth I fell asleep between the truckers sprawled across the seats I see your face everywhere I go In every cafe and watering hole What is this hold you’ve got on me, baby I’m a desperate man I’ve gotta keep on running I’ve gotta do what I can To get back to you I’m a desperate man I’ve gotta keep on running Running back to you Nobody else will do I’m a desperate man I’ve gotta keep on running Running back to you Nobody else will do
Other People
There have been other people in your life You have had other lovers So have I You have talked very sweetly You have felt very deeply You have shared many stories with the ones who came before me There have been other people in your life Did you change theirs the way that you changed mine And without them, anyhow, would you be who you are now And would you even want me in your life But in the greater scheme of things just think of all the ‘might have beens’ There is no ‘you’, there is no ‘me’, when set against eternity And jealousy is just an urge to rule over the universe It is worthless and destructive, and always counter productive There have been other people in your life You have had other lovers So have I And um, blah blah blah…
The One Who Loves You
Finding the one who loves you, it doesn’t come along too often Finding the one who loves you - the one who really loves you Who thinks so highly of you - doesn’t come round every day And I love you, I love you, I really really love you Finding the one who has it isn’t as easy as it should be Finding the one who’s got it - who is with you besotted Is like finding the lesser spotted Dodo in Soho - so rare And you’ve got it, yeah you’ve got it, yeah you’ve really really got it Finding your other half is anything but a laugh, it’s hard Finding the one who frees you - the one who really sees you The one who’ll never ever leave you - it shouldn’t be this hard But it’s worth it, yeah it’s worth it, yeah it’s really really worth it The one who loves you, the one who loves you The one who loves you, who really really loves you