Prologue: "Mr Beckett Sir.."
"Mr Becket, it’s time. Your audience awaits… "
Theatre Of The Absurd
The lights go down on some dark theater in London Oooooh for the cruelest comedy The audience hold their breath they freeze and dare not look away Ooooooh it’s the cruelest comedy The actors stumble on with masks but no real plot There are no exit signs and all the doors are locked … the compere jumps up Ladies and Gentlemen I’m so glad that you’ve heard Of the blackest black comedy From The House of The Absurd- The blackest black comedy The orchestra strike up a song that no one’s heard of A story-line that no one knows to sing This cabaret must never end A dozen roses no one sends Ooooh the cruelest comedy The stage is draped palest, palest bitter blue And from the wings and right on cue … the compere jumps up Ladies and Gentlemen I’m so glad that you heard Of the blackest black comedy From The House Of The Absurd- Ladies and gentlemen will you please walk this way For the last and only performance of the cruelest cabaret- The blackest black comedy from The Theater Of The Absurd
If I Go Mad
Yeah yeah yeah yeah Oh lucky man Where have you been With your hair on and What have you seen 'Cause I know We all need the money And I know We all miss the show A little plastic hat A little plastic nose Well have a look There’s a plastic house And plastic clothes Sure I know We all need the readies And I know We all love the show But just give me the future With the girl I know If I go mad Without you If I go mad (if I go mad) Without you Here’s to everybody, to all of my friends Here’s to all the summers we wish would never end Here’s to all the diggies with no fish All the people that I really miss Here’s to all the summers with no sun Here’s to all the things that we should’ve never done Here’s to all the sorrow and the pain All the passengers on this train Oh you the crooked man With a crooked smile Take a walk along the plank Walk the crooked mile Sure yes I know We all need the money And I know That we all love the show Oh but give me the future With the girl I know If I go mad (if I go mad) Without you (without you) If I go mad (if I go mad) Without you Yeah yeah yeah yeah If I go mad (if I go mad) Without you (without you) If I go mad (if I go mad) Without you (without you) Mad Will I go mad without you (if I go mad) Probably (without you) Mad Will I go mad without you (if I go mad) Yeah
Baby Burglar
Guide-less baby burglar Where are you heading to? How could you be so selfish How can you be so cruel Following in the footsteps of your mentor Not knowing how you’ve Broken all the rules Adrift on your ship of fools Aimlessly you turn your blind eye To all that’s in your path upside down Oblivious in your destruction Turning other hopes into… Dying embers, and their ashes into dust Oh baby burglar I once trod in your creeping foot steps Going equipped into the night If I were to turn This weapon upon you Who would be wrong, who would right? Well, Jesus Christs sake baby burglar Where will this wanton action end Under the wheels of a crazy horse Dragged off in a moment of madness Oh baby burglar I once trod in your creeping foot steps Oh baby burglar I once trod in your creeping foot steps Your cause of action, so easily avoided Not even your god himself could defend What a tragic mess we are in baby burglar Their grief will tear and consume but will never end Faith and time shall prevail over all It’s bright shining light Will find wrong from right Offer you a life time to ponder Think this tragedy through Oh baby burglar I once trod in your creeping foot steps Oh, small time murderer May god forgive your misguided steps Oh baby burglar Oh baby burglar Oh baby burglar
Act One: "Surrounded On All Sides.."
"Act one, Surrounded on all sides, in an increasingly difficult situation Is there still the possibility of escape?"
C’est La Vie
Life begins at five to eight No time to waste, it will not wait A lay-in that was yesterday Up and at 'em into the fray There’ll be no time to catch your breath The enemy of life is death So sweep the hallway, mop the wall Your destinies about to call… The legislations in the bag Justice a toothless old hag It’s every man now on his own It’s all for one, you’d better run And stand up tall against the wall And one by one you all shall fall And though you’ll try to get back home Your cupboards bare, without a bone Je ne le fais pas, c’est la vie C’est comme ça que, ça va être Je ne le fais pas, c’est la vie C’est comme ça que, ça va être Stand up tall against the wall One by one you all shall fall And though you’ll try to get back home The cupboards bare, without a bone Some call it Armageddon I’m sure you’ve heard them say It’s a Tyrannical heaven And we’re only a moment away Je ne le fais pas, c’est la vie C’est comme ça que, ça va être Je ne le fais pas, c’est la vie C’est comme ça que, ça va être
What On Earth Is It (You Take Me For?)
I can barely keep the pace As I bolt out the door The watershed dissolves Into families at war The crude tube bogs me out With a cucumber sandwich Between the cause And the emotional damage What on earth is it you take me for Is your ego doing battle with the ratings Mocking the afflicted to the very core Take responsibility for your failings Matron! (Take the money, open the box) (Take the money, open the box) The problem as I see it And I’m not one to judge But your void of compassion Takes a dive in the sludge What on earth is it you take me for Do you judge me purely on the ratings You bend me like a pretzel, now I’m down on all fours The money box is open for the takings Matron! Abigail and Brittney perform the truffle shuffle They are having a go in all the kerfuffle Now don’t squirm in your chair, you are the sole director So just pull the fucking plug out from its connector Gawping at the dot, disappear into the screen Stand up to attention for your country and queen Fellow brothers and sisters, follow your instinct Avoid being sucked into the prosperous jive (Take the money, open the box) (Take the money, open the box) I can barely keep the pace as I bolt out the door The ninth bell tolls and it’s Pussy Galore What on earth is it you take me for Do you judge me purely on the ratings You bend me like a pretzel, now I’m down on all fours The money box is open for the takings What on earth is it you take me for Do you judge me purely on the ratings If I bend just a little further more I’m likely to chuck up upon your failings' railings What on earth is it you take me for Do you judge me purely on the ratings You bend me like a pretzel, now I’m down on all fours The money box is open for the takings
Hour Of Need
I just can’t sleep Will it ever be light The nights dragged on so long Hold my hand lightly dear I fear there’s something wrong And it’s cold and I’m lonely I want to rest my head But hold, hold me gently And lead me to my bed This feeling, of uncertainty Just don’t know where to go Serenity’s lost and out of reach The night is cold as snow So be my protector In this my Hour of Need Bring to me some comfort Bring to me some ease Oh so hold me so closely Hold me oh so near And let nothing come between us Burn away my fear Cause it’s cold, and I’m lonely I want to rest my head Oh Hold, hold me gently And lead me to my bed Just one touch Just one moment Just one kind word whispered in my ear So captivating circulating permeating illuminating So be my protector In this my Hour of Need Bring to me some comfort Bring to me some ease Hold me oh so closely Hold me oh so near Let nothing come between us Burn away my fear
Act Two "The Damsel In Distress.."
"Act Two, The Damsel in distress stands alone, with no one to defend her, no one."
Round We Go
Round and round we go Round we go again Round and round we go Round we go again Red cheeks and a pair of wings Is this what mother gave him He’ll hear the angels sing On high for all to praise him Gods gift and no one wants to know him She’ll sing a lullaby and life will show him The sun comes up and sun goes down The wheels come off and the deals go down The news comes out and the star is found We play the game and go round and round White teeth and a knowing smile You’ll hear no words of wisdom Her son is in denial She hopes the world forgives him Gods gift and no one wants to know him She’ll sing a lullaby and life will show him The sun comes up and sun goes down The wheels come off and the deals go down The news comes out and the star is found We play the game and go round and round Round and round we go Round we go again Round and round we go Round we go again Her son her little boy Too sly too cruel to mention Well crafted lies deployed He won’t accept redemption Gods gift and no one wants to know him She’ll sing a lullaby and life will show him The sun comes up and sun goes down The wheels come off and the deals go down The news comes out and the star is found We play the game and go round and round Round and round we go Round we go again Round and round we go Round we go again
Act Three: "The Situation Deteriorates.."
"Act Three, The situation deteriorates still further, it is becoming dire, the end is possibly nigh"
Lockdown And Frack Off
The numbers up The numbers down The lights are out All over town Lock-downs back People settling down For the curtain twitch Get ready to snitch Ha ha ha ha, get ready to snitch Sha na na na na Sha na na na no Sha na na na na Sha na na na no Life’s a bitch Ain’t it rich Fingers at the ready Scratch the free phone itch Dial this number across the nation For a years supply of vaccination Come on down Tonight’s the night Results are good The Price is right Satisfy the common need Gratify the common greed Hey now Who you gonna be now What you gonna do now When the lights go down Hey now Where you gonna run now Before the setting sun now Where you gonna go now Mad Max was right Petrol heads Asda was like The Dawn of the Dead Panic buying loaves of bread The toilet roll riots You’ll be left for dead Powering up The neighborhood Who ever thought it would feel this good So get your fracking hat on And drill in deep Any cash you find you get to keep Boys and girls, ready to blow All bottled up with nowhere to go Eco warriors are in the loop Weaponizing tomato soup Hey now Who you gonna be now What you gonna do now When the lights go down Hey now Where you gonna run now Before the setting sun now Where you gonna go now Hey now Who you gonna be now What you gonna do now When the lights go down Hey now Where you gonna run now Before the setting sun now Where you gonna go now Sha na na na na Sha na na na no
Beginners 101
And so it came Not like other game Don’t stand to close to the flame Nothing ventured nothing gained We took the money and gone A flight to cologne or maybe bon A suit made from mo hair A little flair Some brill creamed hair, yeah Up over the roof A rope, a jimmy something waterproof Where eagles dare A self proclaimed millionaire Under a silvery moon We couldn’t finish the job too soon A nod a wink and uncomfortable glance The man from the special branch "Ello son" I should have known Something wasn’t right It’s beginners 101 Into the night Before the daylight We was having fun (having fun) A little hit and run One for all and all for one Finish what we begun Was it all a charade A mistake to have stayed Ain’t them bars of gold A sight to behold A panama so bold I should have known Something wasn’t right It’s beginners 101 Into the night Before the daylight We should have guessed Did it pass the idiot test It’s beginners 101 Just a burner phone This bird has flown
Is There Anybody Out There?
Is there anybody out there Who would like a little bit of what I got I promise not to take up too much of your precious time And it should only take a minute It’s a deal, it’s a steal, the sale of the century Don’t walk away or you’ll surely regret it Cause it’s bargain time A consumable delight so get in line Everything must go, but don’t panic Everything’s for sale if you’ve got the readies Oi oi oi, oi oi Is there anybody out there who’d like a little bit of what I got It’s got your name written all over Sound to good to be true, then it generally is I got that in red, white, and blue (Red White and blue) Coffee color yellow right up to curfew (Curfew) Step back in time for one night only (oooh) We slenderize for solely the lonely (Soley The Lonely) Is there anybody out there who would like a little bit of what I got You’re on a promise a slide waranty that comes With worthless twaddle that I can’t guarantee I sell ice to Eskimos for tuppence a bag (ohhh) Or a line of guacamole to the holy in drag (yeah yeah yeah) Oh I’ll blow you a smoke screen from the soles of my feet (oooh) They’ll lead you up and down along a one way street (Along a one way street) Step back in time for one night only (oooh) We slenderize for solely the lonely (Solely the lonely) Step back in time for one night only (step back) Will slenderize for solely the lonely (Solely the lonely) Step back (back back…)
The Law According To Dr. Kippah
Everybodies thoughts are with you Take my hand and don’t let go Father Patrick offers escape For the cripples down below Right beside you night and day Transfixed by twilight, flicker away Making love to bitter sweet dreams The Master of illusion shall redeem Hanging on in their reiterative prayer Your loved ones comfort Though in despair Silence is welcomed on a crashing shore The shadow of movement shall no more Do you recall the battle scene Where billy the hero loses his queen To ruben the pycho High on meth-amphetamine Never the less once we were a team Though I don’t expect any miracles Try to envisage the wonder of it all We would captivate and amuse We will always be here looking up to you Well She is making some kind of progress, overall What we have here is a failure to communicate Oh father I’ve seen the light And I comprehend your teachings Oh father I just can’t fight To break free of this feeling Cast your mind back 40 odd years to the Summer of love still ringing in your ears Hampstead heath and ice cold beers Dancing in the moonlight to golden years Mr blue sky doubles over Thigh high deep in fields of clover Making love to bitter sweet dreams The Master of illusion shall redeem Hanging on in their reiterative prayer Your loved ones comfort Though in despair Silence is welcomed on a crashing shore The shadow of movement shall no more Dare not re-enact that battle scene Along high-gate road with the Highbury Though we never rocked to rule supreme We stood our ground in the face of adversity (Adversity, adversity, adversity, adversity) Enrico Sidoli dissolves with the holy ghost Oh father I’ve seen the light And I comprehend your teachings But father I just can’t fight To break free of this feeling Oh father I’ve seen the light And I comprehend your teachings But father I just can’t fight To break free of this feeling (Feeling feeling ahhhh)
Epilogue: "And So Ladies And Gentlemen.."
"And So Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girl’s, we come to the epilogue They say all clouds have a silver lining. Will out hero be saved. Who will have the courage to stand and fight? "
Run For Your Life
Project fear Was always here Let us make that very clear You’re gonna die Your gonna fry From the chem trails in the sky Monkey pox you know it’s true Grow two heads it infects you It’s been tried It’s been tested It’s gonna work We’ve invested ('Cause we’ve invested) Run for your life Run for your life Ice is melting in the sun New horizons have begun The tide is high we all agree Benefits are there to see (to see, open your eyes) Run for your life Run for you life Run for your life Run for you life Take away your DNA Learn to live another way Cashless is the way ahead Use your built in chip instead Run for your life Run for your life Run for your life Run for your life (Run run, run run,) Russia’s got a nuclear bomb World war three 'ere it comes Build a bunker Settle in And here’s a fact We will win Tick Tock, doomsday clock 90 seconds is all we got Here comes it "The Robot AI 20 seconds to comply" Run for your life (Run run,) Run for your life Run for your life (Run run,) Run for your life (Run run,) Keep them scared Keep them ruled Keep them fighting Keep them fooled The enemy is past the gate The enemy is the (censored) state (And what a state we’re in) (Run for it (name?) Run for your life (Run run,) Run for your life Run for your life (Run run,) Run for your life
Set Me Free (Let Me Be)
Set me free Oh set me free Let me be now Let me be Oh can’t you see What it’s doing to me I can look out my window I can see the sky And I can see the sun I see the moon I see the seasons pass My empty room Set me free Just set me free Oh let me be now Let me be As time goes by I can’t see why We live this life It makes me wanna cry Being locked down In the same ghost town I’m sure by now It’s doing, more harm than good Set me free Set me free Oh won’t you just let me be now Let me be Set me free Oh set me free Just let me be now Let me be (Set me free) (Set me free) Don’t you see (Set me free) (Set me free) What it’s doing to me (Set me free) (Set me free) (Set me free) (Set me free)
In My Street
There’s Turkish drug dealers An Irish halfway house There’s ten full black bin bags Blowing round the gaff And everybody’s moaning about their own birthday And everybody’s talking about getting away In my street It’s just the people you meet I’ve got a line but I can’t get away Oh no well not until judgement day There’s Eggy, & Beany, Popple, & Chainy Ronnie, & Freddy, Terry, & Painy All telling their own kids when they should go to bed All sitting around their living room off their heads 'Cause in my street It’s all the lovely people you meet I’ve got a line but I can’t get away Oh no well not until judgement day It’s a strange old thing When you’re on your own Amongst other people And your far from home But at other times Thinks can change So quickly In the nod of a wink The blink of an eye And you realize It’s all just in your mind And you realize It’s all just in your mind And then your free In my street It’s just the people you meet In my street It’s just the people you meet We moved here so long ago I don’t remember why Must be 40 odd year now But don’t time fly When your having fun A boxer Footballer A black cab driver A gangster A fraudster A cheating conniver And everybody’s talking about getting away Looks like we’re here to stay 'Cause in my street It’s all the lovely people you meet I’ve got a line but I can’t get away Oh no well not until judgement day 'Cause in my street It’s all the people you meet We’ve had a line but we can’t get away No well not judgement day
Fin.: "Ladies And Gentlemen.."
"Ladies and gentlemen, This is The end. Of the begining"