Probably Nothing
Something to tell you, but now I forget Probably nothing Some little story, no, nothing, not yet Probably nothing Don’t try to think of it then it’ll come Happens a lot lately, I feel so dumb It’ll come when it comes, but I still feel so dumb Something to tell you, but now I forget Probably nothing Let’s just forget it, the sun’s gonna set I’m sure it was nothing Why are looking at me in that way? What was it that you thought I would now say? Mild disappointment shown now in the way That you walk away, you walk away
Missionary Position
It’s a little retro and a bit passé But you know you make her feel A-OK And she feels alright, the stars are bright, the missionary position And the acrobats, well, they tend to scoff All you know is that you can get her off And you feel alright, the stars are bright, the missionary position The tried and true is good enough for me and you, for me and you The tried and true is good enough Don’t need anymore, we don’t need anymore A rebranding effort might just be the thing But a name’s a name, and we’re continuing Always feeling fine, it ain’t the wine, it’s the missionary position There are pros and cons to each different pose But we don’t see any need to get to those ‘Cause we’re feeling great, a heightened state, the missionary position The tried and true is good enough for me and you, for me and you The tried and true is good enough Don’t need anymore, we don’t need anymore Don’t need anymore, we don’t need anymore You might have positions you can recommend But I don’t know if we’ll ever get to them ‘Cause we feel alright, the stars are bright, the missionary position You might pride yourself, you’re so avant-garde But we’re neoclassicists, I guess, at heart Patronize all you like, we both like the missionary position Missionary, missionary, missionary, missionary Missionary, missionary, missionary, missionary Missionary, missionary, missionary, missionary Missionary, missionary, missionary, missionary It’s a private matter as to frequency But we both are smiling as you well can see And it ain’t no joke, it ain’t baroque, it’s the missionary position It’s a little retro and a bit passé But you know you make her feel A-OK And she feels alright, the stars are bright, the missionary position
Edith Piaf (Said It Better Than Me)
It’s a heartwarming song For the easily moved The effect is all wrong Plain to see I’m not moved As I stand in the light Of a shop that is closed God, I’d love me a fight There’s no poem just prose Edith Piaf said it better than me "Je ne regrette rien" Pretty song, but not intended for me Time to put some Muzak on There were no smoky dives Few amours, fou or not There were no petty crimes Foreign substances bought There were no midnight drives With a crime boss’s wife Need a sentence at most In assessing my life Edith Piaf said it better than me "Je ne regrette rien" Pretty song, but not intended for me Time to put some Muzak on Drunken and short-lived flings Montparnasse lights Holding a hand of kings My hunch was right When’s that night? Edith Piaf said it better than me "Je ne regrette rien" Pretty song, but not intended for me Time to put some Muzak on Live fast and die young, live fast and die young, live fast and die young Too late for that, too late for that Live fast and die young, live fast and die young, live fast and die young Too late for that, too late for that Live fast and die young, live fast and die young, live fast and die young Too late for that, too late for that Live fast and die young, live fast and die young, live fast and die young Too late for that, too late for that Think of one single night One so strong, you’re aflame Well, I’m sorry, time’s up Sorry, nothing will change Edith Piaf said it better than me "Je ne regrette rien" Pretty song, but not intended for me Time to put some Muzak on Edith Piaf said it better Born to be bad I was born to be bad I was born to be bad Not this time, not this time Born to be bad I was born to be bad I was born to be bad Not this time, not this time Edith Piaf said it better than me "Je ne regrette rien" Pretty song but not intended for me Listen, there is Muzak on Edith Piaf said it better
Scandinavian Design
I’ve got nothing, just a table and two chairs But they’re beautiful and I just stand and stare Time and space intertwined Elegance, simple lines, Scandinavian Design I’ve got nothing, just a table and two chairs But I know that everything I need is there Every line, every shape Sculptural, no escape It’s Scandinavian Design Sometimes she comes over, I think I know why Says the sky has bored her, what’s wrong with the sky Who am I to turn her out, all that she thinks about Is Scandinavian Design She stayed over, and we slept on wooden floors She gets up at 8 and tiptoes to the door She turns ‘round, subtle wave Hums a tune by Sam and Dave Scandinavian Design Every line, every shape Sculptural, no escape Scandinavian Design I’ve got nothing, just a table and two chairs But they’re beautiful and I just stand and stare Time and space are intertwined I can see this defined Scandinavian Design Most times she won’t come but I don’t really mind Has a job to do as some guy’s concubine Chandeliers, bric-a-brac I know that she’ll be back Scandinavian Design Every line, every shape Sculptural, no escape Scandinavian Design Time and space intertwined Elegance, simple lines Scandinavian Design
Giddy Giddy
Giddy, giddy, giddy Our entire city Each and every person the epitome of giddiness We’re giddy, giddy, giddy Our entire city Everyone displaying an immense amount of giddiness We’re giddy, giddy, giddy Our entire city Each and every person the epitome of giddiness We’re giddy, giddy, giddy Our entire city Everyone displaying an immense amount of giddiness And I’m a traveling man In a foreign land Often I suppress My inherent giddiness Until I’m finally home Throw away the comb Kick up both my heels And resume my giddiness (And I’ll resume my giddiness) We’re giddy, giddy, giddy Struttin' ‘round the city How are you today? “I’m feelin' pretty, pretty giddy How are you?” I’m pretty giddy Last week was a pity Had a touch of flu and felt a little less than giddy, giddy Now I’m back to giddy Couldn’t feel more giddy If my life depended on it “Glad to know you’re back to giddy” Giddy, giddy, giddy Our entire city Each and every person the epitome of giddiness Giddy, giddy wife Flower of my life Kids are all asleep She is thinking giddiness And so am, so am I Sparkle in her eye Both of us display A little extra giddiness A little extra giddiness (A little extra giddiness) (A little extra giddiness) (A little extra giddiness) (A little extra giddiness) (A little extra giddiness) (A little extra giddiness) (A little extra giddiness) (A little extra giddiness) Giddy, giddy kids Often blow their lids Normally they’re giddy but at times they’re acting up Had enough Go to bed ‘Til you’re giddy ‘Til you’re giddy, real giddy From another city Where nobody’s giddy Comes a scientific group to analyze our giddiness “Their water ain’t too giddy Their diet ain’t too giddy We’re prettier than they are but they’re infinitely giddier” Giddy, giddy, giddy Their entire city Each and every person the epitome of giddiness They’re giddy, giddy, giddy Their entire city Everyone displaying an immense amount of giddiness We conclude their town Never, never’s down Endorphin’s really flow Why it is, don’t really know We need a bigger grant Thus we’re hesitant Honestly, no clue Why they’re so damn giddy, giddy Giddy, giddy, giddy Their entire city Each and every person the epitome of giddiness They’re giddy, giddy, giddy Their entire city Everyone displaying an immense amount of giddiness Giddy, giddy, giddy They show mucho giddiness Giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy Giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy, giddy
What The Hell Is It This Time?
Historically, historically, we make an appeal To something greater than we are when we need to heal But don’t concern Him with your little Band-Aid affair His temper will flare, he’ll rise from his chair What the hell is it this time? My God is great, my God is good, he loves every man But show consideration when you pray in demands His plate is filled with famine and with clean, wholesome air If Arsenal wins, he really don’t care What the hell is it this time? What the hell is it this time? You’ve asked Him for redemption twenty times in the past And twenty times he’s granted it and again you have asked But twenty is the limit and he’s now getting peeved And when He gets peeved, it’s not to be believed What the hell is it this time? What the hell is it this time? My God is great, my God is good, he loves every man He loves every man, he loves every man My God is great, my God is good, but show some restraint If you’re feeling faint, appeal to a saint What the hell is it this time? It’s you again, it’s you again, you get on my nerves What the hell is it this time? I’ve billions to serve, you get on my nerves What the hell is it this time? What the hell is it this time? What the hell is it this time? What the hell is it this time? My girl has left, my dog has left, I’ve cracked up my car The only one who will listen to me’s tending the bar He turns his back and walks away and I say, “hey you I ain’t hardly through”, he says, “yeah, you’re through” Our God is great, our God is good, he loves every man But there’s a limit to what even he can withstand So be selective in what you slip under his door If it isn’t war, it may be ignored What the hell is it this time? My God is great, my God is good but don’t waste His time What the hell is it this time He’s dealing with crime, so don’t waste His time What the hell is it this time? Historically, historically, we think we’ve carte blanche What the hell is it this time He don’t take carte blanche He don’t take carte blanche What the hell is it this time? What the hell is it this time?
Unaware
Dragonflies too tired to breed CEO too tired to lead Home town wins more times than not Bow-tied man is maladroit She’s Unaware, Unaware Photos of distant star There it is, here we are Someone tells off-color joke Heimlich saves man who chokes She’s Unaware, Unaware She’s Unaware, Unaware Taylor Swift has something new Nike has a brand new shoe Reads your heart rate, anywhere She don’t know, she don’t care She’s Unaware, Unaware Class walks out on lecturer Actress wears real fur Headline act disappoints Coral bleached off the point She’s Unaware, Unaware She’s Unaware, Unaware Her parents stare down Faces like two clowns That’s all she knows of, that’s all Wish I could warn her Don’t turn that corner Stay unaware of it all Apparitions everywhere Silent couples sit and stare Someone promised, didn’t show Someone says, “Have to go” She’s Unaware, Unaware Apparitions everywhere Silent couples sit and stare Someone promised, didn’t show Someone says, “Have to go” She’s Unaware, Unaware
Hippopotamus
There’s a hippopotamus, there’s a hippopotamus, there’s a hippopotamus in my pool There’s a hippopotamus, there’s a hippopotamus, there’s a hippopotamus in my pool How did it get there? How did it get there? How did it get there? I don’t know How did it get there? How did it get there? How did it get there? I don’t know There’s a book by anonymous, a book by anonymous, a book by anonymous in my pool There’s a book by anonymous, a book by anonymous, and a hippopotamus in my pool No I’ve not read it, no I’ve not read it, when it dries out I’ll have a go How did it get there? How did it get there? How did it get there? I don’t know Someone must’ve been fooling around Someone must’ve been acting dumbfound Someone must’ve been taking the piss Taking the piss and acting like this There’s a painting by Hieronymus, Bosch by Hieronymus, Bosch by Hieronymus in my pool There’s a painting by Hieronymus, Bosch by Hieronymus, Bosch by Hieronymus in my pool How did it get there? How did it get there? How did it get there? Sure beats me Must be a late work, must be a late work, one of his late works Obviously! There’s a Volkswagen microbus, a Volkswagen microbus, a Volkswagen microbus in my pool A '58 microbus, a '58 microbus, a '58 microbus in my pool A hippie is driving, a hippie is driving, a trippy old hippie Poor, poor guy A hippie is driving, a hippie is driving, I throw him a towel Here, go get dry Someone must’ve been acting real cute Someone wearing a slippery suit Someone must’ve come over the lap Throw in a hippo and then a giraffe There is Titus Andronicus, Titus Andronicus, Titus Andronicus in my pool There is Titus Andronicus, Titus Andronicus wearing a snorkel in my pool Now he’s gone under, now he’s gone under, now he’s gone under Worry not Excellent swimmer, excellent swimmer, looking much trimmer Than I thought There’s a woman with an abacus, a woman with an abacus, a woman with an abacus, she looks Chinese There’s a woman with an abacus, a woman with an abacus, a woman with an abacus, she looks Chinese Not that I’m prejudice, not that I’m prejudice, not that I’m prejudice No, not me Not that I’m prejudice, not that I’m prejudice, not that I’m prejudice That’s not me Rolling a hippo, a little got short And after performing a Shakespearean part Summary book and Germanic them Asian lady, isn’t it grand? Yes, yes So grand
Bummer
Dearly departed we Gather here solemnly To describe how we feel ‘bout your suddenly passing Stories of deeds that touch Seem like a bit too much Then they point to me hoping for thoughts everlasting Never, never, never know (You) Never, never, never know Never, never, never know (You) never, never, never know Never, never, never know Bummer All of them prattle on Even your widow yawns You deserve something more, but they go through the motions They have seen on TV People of majesty who can sum up a life with a phrase They don’t know you It’s a bummer, it’s a bummer, what a bummer Bummer We had eyes on the same Stunning thing, both insane All the time, I could see It was you Rest in peace Bummer, bummer, bummer Bummer We had the best of times, all of those petty crimes It all had to end with your vows to be tasteful What I said angrily I should have kept to me What I said to you both it was primetime disgraceful It’s a bummer, it’s a bummer What a bummer, what a bummer It’s a bummer, it’s a bummer What a bummer, what a bummer Quoting a Shakespeare line Citing the Bible I’m not sure that that fits, anyway I am lazy Don’t worry, I will not try hitting on her, you’re fine I respect you enough, though she still drives me crazy It’s a bummer, it’s a bummer, what a bummer Bummer Some ol' fool says, “life goes on” She is crushed that you’re gone Just a word says it all Just a word, you hit that wall Never, never, never know (You) Never, never, never know Never, never, never know (You) never, never, never know Never, never, never know (You) never, never, never know It’s a bummer, it’s a bummer What a bummer, what a bummer It’s a bummer, it’s a bummer What a bummer Bummer
I Wish You Were Fun
I wish you were fun I wish you were fun in every way I wish you were fun To brighten the dark cold winter day In every other way I find you amazing but one I wish you were fun I wish you were fun I wish you were fun I wish you were fun to be around I wish you were fun You say that your favorite color’s brown In every other way I find you amazing but one I wish you were fun I wish you were fun No one ever changes, why even bring it up? You’ll only muck it up, she’ll never yuck it up You know she’s from somewhere where Authority ruled supreme, no would ever dream Dream of just letting off some steam I wish you were fun You’ve got it all covered ‘cept for that I love how you run With such a determined look at that I shouldn’t let it phase me at all but I’m just plain old dumb I wish you were fun I wish you were fun La la la la La la la la la la la la la No one ever changes, why even mention it? Calling attention it leads to the tension that’s not Helpful, back off and accept what you have in hand Glad that she’s no Ayn Rand, humorless to the Nth degree La la la la la I wish you were fun La la la la la la la la la Fun in every way La la la la la I wish you were fun La la la la Have some Chardonnay In every other way I find you amazing but one I wish you were fun I wish you were fun I wish you were fun And maybe you’re fun in subtle ways Too subtle for me, but maybe I’ll get it all one day But how about a somersault until you are blatantly fun Do that, I’d be stunned I wish you were fun La la la la In every other way I find you amazing but one I wish you were fun I wish you were fun
So Tell Me Mrs. Lincoln Aside From That How Was The Play?
Only the subtext, never the text Wish I could push a button for next Only the surface, never the heart When will the confab finally start? Nodding my head like a bobblehead doll Trying to smile, ignoring it all Don’t interrupt, you’ll just cause a fuss Hope I can catch the 10 o’clock bus So tell me Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that how was the play? So tell me Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that how was your day? Only the warmup, still not the game Every time exactly the same Try to drop hints, a glance at my watch A glance at my watch, while we slip a notch Why is the subject so hard to broach Must be a talent so hard to coach Stalling without strategic intent What should I try to give up for Lent? So tell me Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that how was the play? So tell me Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that how was your day? So tell me Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that how was the play? So tell me Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that how was your day? Putting all of that aside Putting all of that aside Putting all of that aside Putting all of that aside Putting all of that aside What lies underneath it all? What lies underneath it all? What lies underneath it all? What lies underneath it all? Wandering mind, meandering words I couldn’t tell you any I’ve heard For the last hour, hour or two Now I retie the lace on my shoe Is this a breakup or is it not? All I can tell you, man, I am shot Don’t interrupt, you’ll just cause a fuss Looks like I missed the 10 o’clock bus So tell me Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that how was the play? So tell me Mrs. Lincoln, aside from that how was your day? What lies underneath, ignored?
When You’re A French Director
(feat. Leos Carax)
When you’re a French director, it seems la vie est belle Women say "oui," they long to be, top of the bill, oh well When you’re a French director, you’re an auteur as well What does that mean? Every scene must be obscure as hell When you’re a French director You never smile, what’s the deal? Hollywood guys, with their CGI eyes smile But their films lack "le feel" When you’re a French director Un César, do you really care? You can’t admit it But you could fit it Right on that shelf, over there When you’re a French director You know la vie est belle Women say "oui," they long to be, top of the bill, oh merde
The Amazing Mr. Repeat
Darnell, he doesn’t stand a chance Nor Johnny nor that guy from France Nor Sammy or the paper boy Nor Tony who they call Leroy The girls are waiting, single file They might be waiting there a while It might be dawn, it might be noon It might be, God forbid, next June The Amazing Mr. Repeat At your service again Once more again, oh no Once more, again, oh no He drives them crazy, drives them mad His very own Olympiad Once more, again, oh no Once more, again, oh no There’s ecstasy on every face Of every girl in our whole place The Amazing Mr. Repeat At your service again Once more again, oh no Once more, again, oh no No waiting to reload at all No waiting for that protocol Once more again, oh no Once more, again, oh no Sign here, son, that’s right, the dotted line The dotted line, you’ll take the world by storm He rejects them all every time, every time Their exploitation’s met with scorn He’s on the nightly news again They have to have him after ten So kids are all asleep and he Can be talked about honestly He feels they are using him A circus freak not really him So he stays in the neighborhood Still, local girls say, “damn, he’s good” Once more, again, oh no Once more, again, oh no The Amazing Mr. Repeat At your service again Once more, again, oh no Once more, again, oh no The rest of us seem very slow An intermission breaks the flow Once more, again, oh no Once more, again, oh no Sign here, son, that’s right, the dotted line The dotted line and all will turn out great He rejects them all every time, every time Every time, I’d really rather wait The Amazing Mr. Repeat At your service again Once more, again, oh no Once more, again, oh no Once more, again, oh no Once more, again, oh no
A Little Bit Like Fun
Fun! Joy! Love! Fun! Well, isn’t this a little bit like fun Well, isn’t this a little bit like fun Well, isn’t this a little bit like fun A little bit like fun Well, isn’t this a little bit like joy Well, isn’t this a little bit like joy Well, isn’t this a little bit like joy A little bit like joy A little bit like joy A little bit like joy Well, isn’t this a little bit like love Well, isn’t this a little bit like love Well, isn’t this a little bit like love A little bit like love Joy! Love! Fun! Love! Well, isn’t this a little bit like joy Well, isn’t this a little bit like fun Well, isn’t this a little bit like fun A little bit like fun A little bit like joy A little bit like love A little bit like fun
Life With The Macbeths
(feat. Rebecca Sjöwall)
All the dreaming and scheming and playing games Are enough to draw millions each week the same Same station, same time, new feuds While a rating of "R" may be generous All that blood and ambition so onerous Our public, the public, enthused Life With The Macbeths is now on view As the cameras are rolling, we roll our eyes But our lifestyle demands that we hide our sighs One season, that’s all you’ll see As the Lady inspires me to depths unseen Killing all in my way, some will yell "obscene" The ratings are off the charts Life With The Macbeths, both tart and smart Our public, the public, enthused Ambition leads to murder A royal reign of terror The critics split in fervor Some not that into murder Is there a deeper story? Or is it only gory? Strong woman prods her husband And then regrets what’s coming Are we both to survive, well, you’ll have to wait Maybe yes, maybe no, what we can, though, state Each murder, the ratings soar Life With The Macbeths is sure to score Life With The Macbeths is sure to score